This evening Jews around the world begin their celebration of Passover, commemorating their liberation from slavery in Egypt. But this ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no fooling around. The rules for the holiday are spelled out in the Bible. Cross them–use any forbidden product–and the consequences are harsh.

So: Carefully wash the rubber bands on your dental braces — they may be covered with corn starch. Put away those finger paints; your kids might eat the forbidden substances in them. Coat your roommates, who pick up after themselves, never play loud music, and were there long before you were, with insecticides. God is up with that.

But, the rabbis warn: DO NOT USE COMBAT ROACH KILLING SYSTEM OR BLACK FLAG ROACH ENDER!! They contain oatmeal, which is strictly forbidden. In them lies damnation.

(Courtesy of Numbers the roach.)