This is what the wire services reported:

One million cockroaches flee China farm

We were said to be running for our lives before we were to be chopped up and turned into some kind of Chinese penis-firmer. 

It was nothing like that. We don't flee. We don't do flight.

Humans flee. We like to watch them go. Then we have fun with it afterwards.

This time we were recollecting the mad dash for Taiwan in 1949 by humans who were concerned that they were about to be killed by the humans they had been trying to kill for the previous 20 years.

No, we didn't try to squeeze into old uniforms that had somehow shrunk. And no, we didn't have to sleep in the mud and shit in buckets so we could feel genuine.

We had only to run around and laugh. And it was a hell of a good time!

(Courtesy of Numbers the roach.)