Google shamefacedly revealed that most of its workforce is white and male. Company officials deplored the lack of diversity; an unnamed industry analyst said the culprit was its policy of hiring the most qualified. 

Google compiled its workforce statistics as mandated by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. With government help, Google will strive to lower its embarrassing share price, promoting equality among American businesses.

Earlier this year, Jesse Jackson launched a campaign to get blacks and Hispanics on the boards of Google and other large tech companies. Rumors fly that B'nai Brith of Los Angeles is considering an initiative to get Jews onto NBA rosters.

In a similarly disgraceful disclosure, members of cockroach colonies around the world have admitted to being almost exclusively brown and small. Said a spokesman, "The white ones kept getting squashed." This rationale is not expected to stand up to governmental challenges.

(Courtesy of Numbers the roach.)