More from the OK Cupid files

writing1More answers on the OK Cupid site, all by mid-lifers.

Q: Assume you have a homosexual friend who is the same gender as you. Would it bother you if they hugged you?
A: No
Unless he lifted my wallet while he was doing it.

Q: Do you believe that dreams can be messages from a “higher level”?
A: No
Mine are usually messages from a lower level.

Q: You’re dating someone new. You discover that they have a room-mate the same sex as you. This:
A: Doesn’t faze you one bit
It increases the probability of finding beer and a wide-screen TV there.

Q: Do you like the taste of blood?
A: Yes
If it’s of an enemy chieftain I slayed in battle, and now, to gain his powers, must eat.

Q: Do wild places such as mountains, rivers and forests call out to you?
A: No.
Well, the nymphs that live in them do.

Q: Do you believe that money can buy happiness?
A: No.
But it can buy lots of good shit, which happiness can’t.

Q: Do you like being in a car with someone else who’s driving extremely fast?
A: Yes
With Mario Andretti, sure. With Ethel Goldenfarb maybe not.

Q: If you found out your partner was cheating on you, would you cheat on them in revenge?
A: No, I’d confront them first.
I would short-sheet her bed and tie all her shoelaces together.

Q: You are sleeping with your significant other and it is very cold in the room, what do you do?
A: Nothing, I like it cold.
Better still: “Hey, get out there and chop some wood!”

Q: Love conquers all.
A: False.
Ray guns conquer all; but love is good too.

Q: How would you react if your lover called you by the name of their ex?
A: I’d pretend I didn’t hear.
I’d quickly ask her for the money she owed him.

Q: Is it possible for your partner to be too ambitious?
A: Yes.
If it’s possible for Caesar, it’s possible for my partner.

Q: Do you have a problem with people who wear fur clothing?
A: No.
It’s more of a problem if they’re wearing fur and it’s NOT clothing.

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