Q: Assume you have a homosexual friend who is the same gender as you. Would it bother you if they hugged you?
Unless he lifted my wallet while he was doing it.
Q: Do you believe that dreams can be messages from a “higher level”?
Mine are usually messages from a lower level.
Q: You’re dating someone new. You discover that they have a room-mate the same sex as you. This:
A: Doesn’t faze you one bit
It increases the probability of finding beer and a wide-screen TV there.
Q: Do you like the taste of blood?
If it’s of an enemy chieftain I slayed in battle, and now, to gain his powers, must eat.
Q: Do wild places such as mountains, rivers and forests call out to you?
Well, the nymphs that live in them do.
Q: Do you believe that money can buy happiness?
But it can buy lots of good shit, which happiness can’t.
Q: Do you like being in a car with someone else who’s driving extremely fast?
With Mario Andretti, sure. With Ethel Goldenfarb maybe not.
Q: If you found out your partner was cheating on you, would you cheat on them in revenge?
A: No, I’d confront them first.
I would short-sheet her bed and tie all her shoelaces together.
Q: You are sleeping with your significant other and it is very cold in the room, what do you do?
A: Nothing, I like it cold.
Better still: “Hey, get out there and chop some wood!”
Q: Love conquers all.
Ray guns conquer all; but love is good too.
Q: How would you react if your lover called you by the name of their ex?
A: I’d pretend I didn’t hear.
I’d quickly ask her for the money she owed him.
Q: Is it possible for your partner to be too ambitious?
If it’s possible for Caesar, it’s possible for my partner.
Q: Do you have a problem with people who wear fur clothing?
It’s more of a problem if they’re wearing fur and it’s NOT clothing.